Roy's Departure
by Wario the TableMan
Summary: Wario the Tableman here with an indepth look on Marth and Roy's relationship! Super epic! Many tears! Much heartwarmings! It's the tale no Roy main has ever forgotten. Melee FE twins forever!


Once upon a time, Marth's butt was very hot. He was at home shaking it like the deadly delicious thang it was and was reading Tasty Prince Booty Magazine. This made him so glad to be very booty-licious!

Roy walked in with a bunch of suitcases and was crying about something obviously stupid. Marth tippy-toed over to his less hot-bunned friend and asked him what was wrong. "Oh, Marth… I'm afraid I have to move away from your very delicious cheekums!"

Marth reeled backwards and gripped the wall like a dramatic pony on a roller coaster. He gasped and shook is rear accordingly. "My goodness, Roy! Why must this come about! My bottom is just too hot to be all alone in Smash Bros! Bowser will try to burn it!"

"Dear Marth," said Roy in between tears. "The trouble is indeed troubling. Sakurai said I must leave along with four other good folks!"

"Is it because they are not strong like me? Maybe they need hot bunzies!"

"Oh, I do not think that'll work, my friend!" Roy packed eleven bandanas and a banana into his suitcase and cried out the door. "I must go away and cry forever!"

"Oh my! This is such a sad day!" Marth cried and gave his Smash buddy a farewell hug using his immensely gorgeous rear cheek-by-cheek. Roy cried and then flew away on via Up-special. Marth cried so hard and ran into his room and wept bitterly into his pillow for a whole week.

A month had passed since Roy's departure and Marth and his sweet cheeks were having the worst time ever! It was bad enough that Roy was gone forever, but now he had to deal with a new roommate who was such a slob! His name was Ike and Daddy Sakurai said the two had to get along and share the FE joint with him. Marth hated Ike! First off, he spoke English and that was super annoying. He always told Marth to "Prepare himself" and that "he fights for his friends". To make matters worse, every time Marth started crying about losing Roy, Ike would say "You'll get no sympathy from me". What a jerk!

What annoyed Marth the most about his new roomy was dat tight hunka cheeks he brought in. Marth despised Ike's rear more than anything, for it was stealing the ladies' hearts one by one. If this dude's rumptastic display of macho madness got any more out of hand, Marth could be out of the job!

One night, Marth snuck out into the streets, disguising his drool-worthy booty in a pickle jar. He stopped by the Star Fox HQ and knocked on the door. A bird dude came to the door. It was good ole Falco Lombardi.

"Watap, Marth? You look kinda down…" said Falco a tad worried. "Is your booty okay?"

Marth burst into tears abruptly. He couldn't take it any longer. "My booty is not okay!" he wailed. "I'm losing to this other hot guy named Ike. Sakurai's gonna throw my bummy into the garbage because I can't wow the women no more!"

"Don't cry, Marth," said Falco. "Everything'll be fine, my lad!" Falco pulled out his cell phone and pulled up . "Look at these ratings! You're at a higher rank than even me and Fox!"

"What difference does that make?"

"It means people will still always love you because they can't get enough of that righteous pair of the second set."

Fox walked in on Marth and Falco. He was wearing his teddy bear pajamas and was very tired from a long day of smashing. "Falco, why did you invite Hotsy-Totsy McRumpRump into da building?"

"Sorry, Foxy, but Marth is sad about his hot butt. He thinks Ike's bottom is hotter!"

"BALOGNA!" shouted Fox in his puky voice. He ran up and up-Smashed Marth in the face. Marth didn't go far though because Fox was a loser now. Fox soon realized this and ran away crying.

"See, Marth," said Falco. "Fox agrees your buns are extremely well done. You just gotta believe in the sweet cheekiness, my friend!"

"Oh, okay…" Marth then left the house and went back to his. When he got home, he saw that Ike was already in bed and was dreaming about some guy named Ethan. Marth went to bed too and kissed his butt good night.

Several years later Marth got a letter in the mail. It said that two new fellas were coming to live with Marth. Marth was a bit worried about the competition for hot buns he might be facing. He had only since gotten over his past insecurities with Ike's steamin' hotcakes, and now two new pairs of pride and joy were on their way to show him up. Marth cried and fed his butt some ice cream, but the ice cream refused and Marth cried some more.

The newcomers arrived a few days later and Marth was ready from the cheeky impact. Boy, was he thrilled that that "Chrom" dude everyone was making a fuss about didn't show. However, a new guy named Reflet showed up with his girlfriend Lukina. They said that Ike had to call them Robin and Lucina though and this made Marth worried.

"Oh no!" cried Marth. "They're foreign and stuff! They're going to steal my glory and show up my bunzies!"

Luckily, Marth was fortunate enough to realize that it was quite the opposite. Sure Robin and Lucina had righteous rear ends, but they paled in comparison to his. Lucina was a clone, and everyone knows cloned butts are stupid. Robin had a hot booty, but he had to share his with some girl who looked just like him (the Blacksmith was pleased). All in all, Marth's butt was the grandest of them all.

Marth celebrated his beautiful hotcakey goodness with all his good friends. They ate good food and sang songs about Marth's righteous cheeks. And at the end of the party everyone screamed in delight as three newcomers decided to drop by for a smashing good time. One of them being…

"Roy!?" said Marth. He could not believe his eyes.

"I'm back, best bud!" said Roy. "I got hunkier!"

"Oh joy!" cried Marth as he embraced both his bummy and his friend. "Today is the day we all be friends again and love my butt now more than ever!"

THE END

?

Is it really over? Yes, because nobody cared about Corrin's butt. It smelled like dragon farts.


End file.
